Previously....
I had a conversation with a couple of co-workers on Thursday. To protect the innocent, I will call them Dave M. and Dave P. As a joke, Dave M. and I decided to tell Dave P. that Dave M. saw the Jimmy Stewart movie Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and how he and his wife hated it. Dave M. and I have been harassing Dave P. for some time with various "Best Of" lists and telling him random opinions that we knew would get a rise out of him, mostly because he would become so incredulous in the most polite way and we found that rather hilarious. It also would lead to some very profound conversations for the better part of the workday. The misdirection about Mr. Smith was no different and when we let Dave P. know that we were joking, the three of us had a good laugh. Dave M. advised the he and his wife never saw Mr. Smith, and were going to a local theater this weekend to see it. This same theater would also be playing E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial later this month, a movie that Dave M. said his wife never saw and he was going to take her. I admitted that while I saw E.T. twice, once in the theater and again later in life on television, that I hated that movie just as I did the first time. I also called Darth Vader a sellout and stated that Jedi was as bad as the Star Wars prequels.
It was at this point that Dave P. had a small aneurysm and shit got real.
Dave P. attacked my sense of whimsy and childish adventure. He said that I was against friendship and the sacrifices made for those friends, and that is untrue. I have no real problem with any of those things, I just hated the idea of this alien freeloader that was using this kid's stuff to make a long distance call, put him in constant danger and then leave without so much as a thank you or "Hey, I'll catch you later, we'll hang out." I saw the aliens in the Star Wars movies, so I knew what they were capable of. They flew space ships, had cool bounty hunter jobs, carried guns and hung out in bars. Not E.T. It just loafed around, ate a bunch of candy and almost got a bunch of kids killed by federal agents. And speaking of that, how sad were those agents? They couldn't catch a bunch of kids? As a kid, I found that whole thing insulting. Don't pander to me Spielberg. Write a damn movie that makes sense. The movie Super 8 made a much better E.T. than E.T did. In Super 8, that alien wanted to go home too. And you know what? He killed the folks that tried to interfere in that mission. And that is the way it is supposed to be.
From his first appearance in Star Wars in 1977 and his awesome rise to greatest villain ever in The Empire Strikes Back in 1980, Darth Vader was the greatest villain there ever was, and he didn't even do all that much. Sure, he used magic to choke some guys during some meetings, killed an elderly dude and performed some serious abuse on his kid, but other than that his crime was rocking a sweet cape and breathing really hard. But with the release of Return of the Jedi in 1983, all of that greatness was undone by Luke being right that there was still good in his dad, and thus the fall of a cool character was complete.
To provide a quick recap (and if you didn't see the film, I will say "spoilers" and also be ashamed of yourself): after getting his ass kicked by Luke in a somewhat pedestrian laser sword fight, Vader watched as Luke told the Emperor to go fuck himself and tossed his lightsaber away, in what was not only mindbogglingly stupid, but also probably the first recorded instance of the mic drop. The Emperor, not liking that kind of language from one so young, decided to discipline young Skywalker by frying him with lightning. Luke, realizing how STUPID IT WAS TO TOSS HIS LIGHTSABER AWAY, begged daddy for help. Vader after shaking his head at how dumb Luke was, killed the Emperor by chucking him into an exhaust shaft that was conveniently nearby. Having saved his son, Vader was now once again "good" and reunited properly with his son.
I hated that whole sequence. I watched Darth Vader terrorize these folks for 3 movies. He froze Han Solo just because, chopped of his own son's hand choked out like 24 guys with magic, kicked 2 Jawas before breakfast and made 17 prank calls with his mind. He does all that, but I am supposed to buy that this whole time there was still a part that was a tree hugging hippie care bear? All it took was for Luke to be getting his ass handed to him by the Emperor for him to reclaim the good that was in him. And the Emperor, being so powerful in the dark side of the Force didn't feel a disturbance in the Force telling him that Vader was not down with the cause? Also, Obi-Wan said that "once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." Now it's evident that he didn't know what the hell he was talking about. He should have said "once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.... probably". So the overall message to 11 year old me was that evil is pretty lazy and they don't do their due diligence in regard to those in their charge. Villains are not really true to their convictions, and they will probably turn to good guys when family is in danger or if the mood just suits them. On top of that the wise old mentor in your life has no idea what they are doing, just talking out of their ass but asks that you trust them anyway because hey, the Force and he brought you a laser sword.
I ask you, what kind of message is that for a kid?
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